《卑鄙的我》是由環球電影公司和Illumination Entertainment娛樂公司新出品的3D動畫電影。電影講述的是大壞蛋格魯異想天開的計劃將把月亮偷走的故事。其情節設定爲世界第一大壞蛋的迴歸。期間影片滑稽有趣的動作，加上著名笑星史蒂夫·卡瑞爾的傾情獻聲，使《卑鄙的我》成爲備受期待之作。
《卑鄙的我》經典臺詞
1. 抱歉，先生，請問有廁所嗎?
Excuse me, sir, is there a commode?
賈斯汀!
Justin!
快，寶貝，照張相，我手託金字塔
Quick, honey, take my picture. I got the pyramid in my hand.
賈斯汀，你馬上給我回來!
Justin, you get back here right now!
不，快停下!
No, stop!
-不，不!攔住他 !- 快回來!別爬了!
-No, no! Stop him!-Go back! Don't climb!
等等，等等。
Wait, wait.
等一下，別激動，小朋友
Hold on. Easy, little boy.
夠了，快停下，小子!停在那。不!
Okay, stop, child! Stop right there. No!
不!不!不! 掉下去了
No, no, no! There he goes.
賈斯汀!
Justin!
我接了! 我接了!
I've got him! I've got him!
2. 今晚從埃及傳來讓人氣憤的消息
Outrage in Egypt tonight as it was discovered
吉薩金字塔已經被人偷走
that the Great Pyramid of Giza had been stolen
取而代之的是個巨大的充氣山寨版
and replaced by a giant inflatable replica.
恐慌立刻傳遍全球，各地政府和民衆
There is panic throughout the globe as countries and citizens
都在盡力保護他們珍愛的地標建築
try to protect their beloved landmarks.
執法部門還是沒有任何線索
Law enforcement still has no leads
每個人都在好奇，到底是哪個神偷大盜
leaving everyone to wonder,which of the world's villains
會對這起十惡不赦的盜竊案負責?
is responsible for this heinous crime?
他的下一目標又是哪裏?
And where will he strike next?
3. 今天，今天很糟糕
I'm having a bad, bad day
是時候讓我爲所欲爲
It's about time that I get my way
把眼前的一切都粉碎
Steamrolling whatever I see
冰凍射線!冰凍射線!冰凍射線!
Freeze ray! Freeze ray! Freeze ray!
今天我沒有開心很多
I'm having a bad, bad day
你要太在意，我也無話可說
If you take it personal, that's okay
看看吧，看這多麼快活
Watch, this is so fun to see
卑鄙的我
Despicable me
早上好 格魯!
Morning, Gru!
你好嗎
How you doing?
你好 弗雷德
Hello, Fred.
對了 你的狗狗在我滿院子里拉地雷
FYI, your dog has been leaving little bombs all over my yard,
我可不歡迎它哦
and I don't appreciate it.
真抱歉。你知道狗嘛。想去哪就去哪
Sorry. You know dogs. They go wherever they want to go.
它們死了就不會了
Unless they're dead.
我開玩笑呢!
I'm joking!
不過，也是事實。好了，好好養吧
Although, it is true. Anyway, have a good one.
好吧 ，好的
Okay. Yeah.
把眼前的一切都粉碎
Steamrolling whatever I see
卑鄙的我
Despicable me
我今天沒有開心很多
I'm having a bad, bad day
你要太在意，我也無話可說
If you take it personal, that's okay
卑鄙的我
Despicable me
這不是在跟我開玩笑嘛!
You've got to be pulling on my leg!
你好嗎
Hello!
賣餅乾
Cookies for sale.
走開，我不在家
Go away. I'm not home.
沒有，你在家，我聽見你說話了
Yes, you are. I heard you.
不，你沒聽見。這
No, you didn't. This
是錄音
is a recording.
-不，不是的。-是的，這是
-No, it isn't. - Yes, it is.
聽着，請留言，嗶
Watch this. Leave a message, beep.
拜拜，錄音
Goodbye, recorded message.
阿格蕾絲，快點啦
Agnes, come on.
凱爾!
Kyle!
你個破狗!不行!，不，不。坐，是我的鬆餅
Bad dog! No! No, no. Sit. My muffin.
格魯!
Gru!
奈法里奧博士
Dr Nefario.
我瞭解你此刻心裏的感受
I know how you must be feeling.
我，也經歷了同樣的沮喪
I, too, have encountered great disappointment,
但在我眼裏,你一直都是最棒的
but in my eyes, you will always be one of the greats.
什麼? 發生什麼事了?
What? What happened?
新聞都滿天飛了!
It's all over the news!
有人偷了金字塔
Some fella just stole a pyramid.
據說他讓別的神偷都
They're saying he makes all other villains look
相形見絀
lame.
全體集合!
Assemble the minions!
小子們，集合了
Minions, assemble!
好的，好的
Okay. Okay
嘿!
Hey!
看起來不錯嘛，凱文!大家怎麼樣?很好吧?
Looking good, Kevin! How is the family? Good?
那就好
All right.
我的比利小子在那兒!怎麼樣，拉里?
That's my Billy boy! What up, Larry?
你們好，各位!
Hello, everybody!
好啦，很好!
Yeah, all right!
安靜一下，安靜!
Simmer down. Simmer down!
謝謝大家，好的
Thank you, okay.
我知道你們可能已經聽說了
Now, I realize that you guys probably heard
有個大盜偷走了金字塔
about this other villain who stole the pyramids.
顯然，這是一樁大案
Apparently, it's a big deal.
人們稱之爲世紀奇案什麼的
People are calling it the crime of the century and stuff like that.
但我煩了嗎?不，我沒有!
!But am I upset? No, I am not!
有一點點
A little,
但是我們這一年也收穫頗豐
but we have had a pretty good year ourselves,
在我看來你們表現的也都不錯
and you guys are all right in my book.
得了，沒有加薪!
No, no raises!
你不會有加薪的
You're not going to get any raises.
我們做什麼了?
What did we do?
看看， 我們偷了時代廣場的大熒幕
Well, we stole the Times Square JumboTron!
不錯!
Nice!
這就是我的範兒
That's how I roll.
是吧，你們都喜歡用這個看足球，哈?
Yeah, you all like watching football on that, huh?
但不止這個
But that's not all.
我們偷了自由女神像
We stole the Statue of Liberty,
拉斯維加斯那個小號的
the small one from Las Vegas.
至於埃菲爾鐵塔更是無足掛齒! 也是維加斯的小版
And I won't even mention the Eiffel Tower! Also Vegas.
好了，我沒打算跟你們講這個的
Okay, I wasn't going to tell you about this yet,
但我一直專注於一件大事!
but I have been working on something very big!
偷金字塔神馬的，跟這件事比起來都是浮雲!
Something that will blow this pyramid thing out of the water!
謝謝我的好朋友，奈法里奧博士的不懈努力
And thanks to the efforts of my good friend Dr Nefario...
謝謝你!
Thank you!
他在那裏
There he is.
他負責設計
He's styling.
聽着，我們已經在一所祕密實驗室裏
Now, we have located a shrink ray
找到了一架光學微縮器，一旦搞到手
in a secret lab,and once we take this shrink ray,
我們就有完全的能力
we will have the capability
去完成真正的世紀奇案
to pull off the true crime of the century.
我們要去偷..
We are going to steal...
等等，等等!我還沒跟你們說是什麼呢
Wait, wait! I haven't told you what it is yet.
嘿
Hey.
戴夫 ，聽清楚，拜託
Dave, listen up, please.
接下來，我們要偷的是
Next, we are going to steal,
爲了效果，暫停一下
pause for effect,
月亮!
the moon!
等月亮落入我的囊中
And once the moon is mine,
世人就會爲了重的月亮 滿足我的一切要求
the world will give me whatever I want to get it back!
我會成爲史上最偉大的神偷!
And I will be the greatest villain of all time!
那就是我要說的
That's what I'm talking about
怎麼了?
Yes?
喂，格魯? 我這裏算了算
Hello, Gru? I've been crunching some numbers,
好像我們的錢真的不夠的
and I really don't see how we can afford this.
這事兒成不了的。我沒有辦法創造奇蹟
It can't be done. I'm not a miracle worker.
嘿，放鬆點
Hey, chillax.
我再找銀行貸款就行。他們喜歡我!
I'll just get another loan from the bank. They love me!
伊迪斯 別這樣!
Edith, stop it!
怎麼了?我不過在走路而已
What? I'm just walking.
(哈蒂小姐女童院)
Miss Hattie's Home for Girls
-嗨， 海蒂小姐 。我們回來了
-Hi, Miss Hattie. We're back.
你們好 姑娘們
Hello, girls!
我們出去的時候有人來申請收養嗎
Anybody come to adopt us while we were out?
讓我想想
Let me think.
沒有!
No!
伊迪斯 ，你在我桌上放的是什麼?
Edith! What did you put on my desk?
稀泥餡餅
A mud pie.
沒人會來收養你的，伊迪斯， 你知道這點，不是嗎?
You're never gonna get adopted, Edith. You know that, don't you?
-是啊， 我知道 - 很好
-Yeah, I know. -Good.
那你們生意如何，姑娘們?達到標準了嗎?
So, how did it go, girls? Did we meet our quotas?
算是吧
Sort of.
我們賣了43塊小薄荷糖，30塊可可曲奇，18塊椰子餅乾
We sold 43 mini-mints, 30 choco-swirlies, and 18 coco-nutties.
好吧
Okay.
嗯，你說得像是今天做了幾筆大生意
Well, you say that like it's a great sale day.
看看我的臉
Look at my face!
你還覺得今天這幾筆生意就足夠了嗎?
Do you still think it's a great sale day?
18塊椰子餅乾
Eighteen coco-nutties.
我覺得我們還能賣的再多一點點，是嗎?
I think we can do a little better than that, don't you?
是的
Yeah
我們不想在羞羞盒裏過週末，是嗎?當然不想
We wouldn't want to spend the weekend in the Box of Shame, would we? No.
-不想 哈蒂小姐
-No, Miss Hattie.
好的，很好，你們走吧 幫我搞搞衛生
Okay, good. Off you go. Go clean something of mine.
-嗨， 佩妮
-Hi, Penny. -
-嗨， 你們好
-Hi, guys.
喂， 媽，真抱歉，我本來要給你打電話的。可是...
Hello, Mom. Sorry, I meant to call, but...
我只是想恭喜你偷了金字塔
I just wanted to congratulate you on stealing the pyramid.
是你乾的，不是嗎?
That was you, wasn't it?
還是哪個真正成功的江洋大盜乾的?
Or was it a villain who's actually successful?
我就要你知道，老媽，我要去做一件
Just so you know, Mom, I am about to do something
非常，非常偉大，非常重要的事
that's very, very big, very important.
等你聽說了，你會非常驕傲的
When you hear about it, you're going to be very proud.
那祝你好運。好了，我掛了
Good luck with that. Okay, I'm out of here.
(銀行)
BANK
(萬惡銀行)
BANK OF EVIL
格魯求見珀金斯先生
Gru to see Mr. Perkins.
好的，請您先坐一下
Yes, please have a seat.
我邁出的一小步
That's one small step for man,
將是人類的.一大步
one giant leap for mankind.
媽，總有一天我會登上月球的
Ma, someday I'm going to go to the moon.
恐怕你已經太晚了， 兒子
I'm afraid you're too late, Son.
美國宇航局已經不送猴子上太空了
NASA isn't sending the monkeys any more.
嘿
Hey
我要申請一項新的大盜貸款。借款人威克託
I'm applying for a new villain loan. Go by the name of Vector.
這名字取義於一個數學術語
It's a mathematical term,
由箭頭代表的數字，箭頭有方向和大小
a quantity represented by an arrow, with both direction and magnitude.
就是矢量的意思!就是我
Vector! That's me,
因爲我的犯罪既要引領方向又要彰顯不朽
'cause I'm committing crimes with both direction and magnitude.
哦，耶!
Oh, yeah!
給你看看我的新武器
Check out my new weapon.
水虎魚手槍!哦，沒錯!
Piranha gun! Oh, yes!
發射活的水虎魚。見過嗎?不，你沒見過。我發明的
Fires live piranhas. Ever seen one before? No, you haven't. I invented it.
想看看演示嗎?
Do you want a demonstration?
該死!還真難，偶爾啦，把水虎魚給弄回來
Shoot! So difficult, sometimes, to get the piranha back inside of my...
格魯先生 珀金斯先生請您去見他
Mr. Gru, Mr. Perkins will see you now.
所以，我要的
So, all I need
銀行的錢來建造火箭
is money from the bank to build a rocket.
-然後呢， 月球就是我們的了-哇噢
-And then, the moon is ours.-Wow!
非常棒的演講
Well, very nice presentation.
我想看看光束微縮器
I'd like to see this shrink ray.
當然!沒問題! 到手就拿給你看
Absolutely! Will do. Soon as I have it.
你還沒有?
You don't have it?
膽就那麼大來銀行要錢
And yet you have the audacity to ask the bank for money?
顯然是的
Apparently.
你明白銀行給你投資了多少嗎，格魯?
Do you have any idea of the capital that this bank has invested in you, Gru?
只有你那極少數的陰險詭謀獲得了收益
With far too few of your sinister plots actually turning a profit.
要我怎麼忍受呢?好比這個蘋果是你
How can I put it? Let's say this apple is you.
如果我們不開始收回我們的資金。。。
If we don't start getting our money back...
想像到了吧?
Get the picture?
聽着，格魯，重點在於，外面有很多的後起之秀
Look, Gru, the point is, there are a lot of new villains out there,
比你更年輕 ，比你飢渴
younger than you, hungrier than you,
比你年輕
younger than you.
就像那個叫威克託的小夥子
Like that young fellow out there named Vector.
他才偷了一個金字塔!
He just stole a pyramid!
我明白了，我明白了
I've got it. I've got it.
所以，至於貸款製造火箭。。。
So, as far as getting money for the rocket...
拿到光束微縮器再說
Get the shrink ray, then we'll talk.
最高機密研究所 東亞
TOP SECRET RESEARCH FACILITY EAST ASIA
蠢貨
Suckers!
蠢貨
Suckers!
我們拿到它了!
We got it!
什麼?
What?
嘿! 嘿!什麼! 嘿!
Hey! Hey! What! Hey!
不!不!不!
No, no, no!
你!
You!
現在，再想冷凍別人的時候可要三思咯!
Now, maybe you'll think twice before you freeze someone's head!
再會，格魯
So long, Gru!
快點!我們不能讓他逃跑!
Quick! We can't let him get away!
向上!向上!
Up ahead! Up ahead!
開火!開火，快!
Fire! Fire, now!
沒打中哦!
You missed me!
到爸爸這裏來!
Come to papa!
吃我一擊
Take that.
太可愛了
How adorable.
看到你了!
Got you in our sights!
就像拿一塊糖。。。
Like taking candy from a...
什麼?
What?
嘿 格魯!
Hey, Gru!
嚐嚐這個!
Try this on for size!
這真奇怪，發生什麼。。。
That's weird. What is going...
這是幽閉恐怖症
This is claustrophobic!
不，不，不!
No, no, no!
太小了!這對我來說太小了!
Too small! This is too small for me!
我恨死那傢伙了!
I hate that guy!
請守護我們，保佑我們睡個好覺
and please watch over us, and bless that we'll have a good night's sleep.
保佑我們在睡覺的時候，沒有蟲子爬到我們的耳朵裏
And bless that while we're sleeping, no bugs will crawl into our ears
然後在我們的腦子裏下蛋
and lay eggs in our brains.
太棒了。謝謝你描述這個景象，伊迪斯
Great. Thanks for that image, Edith.
保佑儘快有人領養我們
And please bless that someone will adopt us soon,
而且爸爸媽媽是好人
and that the mommy and daddy will be nice
然後有個寵物獨角獸
and have a pet unicorn.
-阿門
-Amen.
獨角獸 我愛獨角獸，我愛它們
Unicorns, I love them Unicorns, I love them
獨角，獨角，獨角獸 ，我愛你們
Uni, uni, unicorns I love them
獨角，獨角獸，我可以養一個
Uni, unicorns, I could pet one
如果它們真的是真的
If they were really real
而且它們是真的
And they are
於是，我買一個。於是我養者它
So, I bought one so I could pet it
現在它喜歡我，我也喜歡它
Now it loves me Now I love it
威克特的城堡
VECTOR'S FORTRESS
(安全警報)
SECURITY ALERT!!!
你不。。。什麼。。。
Don't you... What the...
祝你們好運，小女孩們!
Good luck, little girls!
(海蒂小姐女童院)
Miss Hattie's Home for Girls
哇噢!酷
Whoa! Cool.
你好! 我們是哈蒂小姐少女收容站的孤兒
Hi! We're orphans from Miss Hattie's Home for Girls.
-我不在乎，滾開!-拜託了!
-I don't care. Beat it! - Come on!
我們在賣餅乾，所以，能有個更好的未來
We're selling cookies so, you know, we can have a better future.
-等下，等下!你有椰果味的嗎?-是的
-Wait, wait!Do you have coco-nutties? -Yeah.
有主意了
Light bulb.
納法尼奧博士
Dr Nefario!
我需要一些小機器人僞裝的餅乾!
I'm going to need a dozen tiny robots disguised as cookies!
-什麼? -機器人餅乾!
What? Cookie robots!
-你是誰?-哦，算了吧
Who is this? Oh, forget it.
好吧，看起來你已經通過了我們的背景覈對
Well, it appears you have cleared our background check,
格魯醫生
Dr Gru.
我發現你列出了一個
And I see you have made a list
關於你個人成就的表格
of some of your personal achievements.
謝謝你，我很願意看看
Thank you for that. I love reading.
我發現你被授予了榮譽勳章
And I see you have been given the Medal of Honor
和騎士身份
and a knighthood.
-我，我，我-我，我，我
-Me, me, me. -Me, me, me.
凱文?
Kevin?
你有你自己的廚藝秀節目
You had your own cooking show
而且你可以憋氣30秒?
and you can hold your breath for 30 seconds?
沒什麼了不起
It's not that impressive.
傻瓜!
Idiot!
打! 打! 打! 打!打!打!
Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!
這亂七八糟的都是些...什麼?
What in the name of... What?
好吧，是這麼回事
Well, here's the dealio.
自從我的妻子
Things have been so lonely since my wife,
黛比，去世後 ，一切都是那麼孤單
Debbie, passed on.
我的心就就好比牙齒一樣
It's like my heart is a tooth,
有一個蛀洞，只有用孩子才能填滿它
and it's got a cavity that can only be filled with children.
對不起
I'm sorry.
你是一個 漂亮的女士。你會說西班牙語嗎?
You are a beautiful woman. Do you speak Spanish?
我看起來像會說西班牙語嗎?
Do I look like I speak Spanish?
你有一個驢臉
You have a face como un burro.
謝謝你!
Well, thank you!
總之，我們能繼續進行領養手續了嗎?
Anyway, can we proceed with this adoption?
太，太興奮了!
So, so excited!
請讓瑪戈 伊迪斯和阿格蕾絲來大廳
Please tell Margo, Edith and Agnes to come to the lobby.
我打賭媽媽很漂亮!
I bet the mom is beautiful!
我打賭爸爸的眼睛會閃爍發光
I bet the daddy's eyes sparkle.
我打賭他們的房子一定是橡皮糖熊熊做的
I bet their house is made of Gummi Bears.
我只是說它肯定會很好
I'm just saying it'd be nice.
我的毛毛蟲永遠變成不了蝴蝶
My caterpillar never turned into a butterfly.
那是個爆米花
That's a Cheeto.
好吧，黛比是一個很幸運的女人
Well, Debbie was a very lucky woman.
黛比是誰
Who's Debbie?
你妻子
Your wife.
嗨，女孩們
Hi, girls!
女孩們，你們來見見格魯先生
Girls, I want you to meet Mr. Gru.
他將會收養你們
He's going to adopt you.
他是一個牙醫!
And he's a dentist!
耶!
Yeah!
嗨 我是瑪戈 這是伊迪斯
Hi. I'm Margo. This is Edith.
那是阿格蕾絲
And that's Agnes.
我抓住你的腿了，我抓住你的腿了!
I got your leg, I got your leg!
好吧， 夠了，小丫頭
Okay, that is enough, little girl.
放開我 的腿，快點 你可以做到的。-高點!
Let go of my leg. Come can do it. Higher!
高點! 放鬆一點，哇哦!
Higher! Just release your grip. Wow!
怎樣能拿開她?需要一個指令嗎?
How do you remove them? Is there a command?
不粘噴霧
Some nonstick spray?
撬棍?
Crowbar?
好了女孩們 咱們出發
Okay, girls, let's go.
哦，耶!
Oh, yeah!
太棒了!
Pretty impressive!
你在看什麼呢?
What are you looking at?
卟呀!
Boo-ya!
你被縮小了，小漱口水!
You got shrunk, tiny mouthwash!
接招吧!
Take that!
你被縮小了!
You done been shrunk!
喂?
Yello?
我拿到光束微縮器了，好的
I got the shrink ray, all right.
不是，我沒拿它玩
No, I'm not playing with it.
格魯?
Gru?
別逗我笑了!不
Don't make me laugh! No.
還有，他不會得到月亮
P.S., he is not getting the moon,
還還有，當我解決他的時候
and P.P.S., by the time I'm done with him,
他會乞求我的憐憫
he's gonna be begging for mercy.
好吧，再見
Okay, bye.
看看你，小寶寶專用的小馬桶。。。
Look at you, a little tiny toilet for a little tiny baby...
詛咒你，小馬桶!
Curse you, tiny toilet!
好了 我們到了
Okay, here we are.
甜蜜的家啊
Home sweet home.
所以，這就是，貌似，你的房子?
So, this is, like, your house?
等一下。。。
Wait a sec...
你就是假裝成錄音信息的那個人!
You're the guy who pretended he was a recorded message!
不，那是別人
No, that was someone else.
我能抓着你的手嗎
Can I hold your hand?
不行
No.
當我們被一個光頭收養的候，我認爲這更像安妮(源自著名漫畫"孤女安妮")
When we got adopted by a bald guy, I thought this'd be more like Annie.
不，嘿!
No, hey!
凱爾 這些不是食物。 這些是我們的客人
Kyle, these are not treats. These are guests.
女孩們，這是凱爾，我的
Girls, this is Kyle, my
狗
dog.
毛毛狗
Fluffy doggy!
這是什麼品種的狗
What kind of dog is that?
他是...我不知道
He is a... I don't know.
你真的認爲這裏對於小孩子合適嗎?
Do you really think that this is an appropriate place for little kids?
因爲它不合適
'Cause it's not.
不!不!離那遠一點!
No! No! Stay away from there!
太脆弱了
It's fragile.
好吧，我認爲這計劃由兩個人才能完成
Well, I suppose the plan will work with two.
嘿!裏面太黑了
Hey! It's dark in here.
它把我的飲料包紮了一個洞
It poked a hole in my juice box.
你們可以看見
As you can see,
我提供了一個小孩需要的所有東西
I have provided everything a child might need.
好了
All right.
好的，我在說。。。嘿!
Okay. As I was saying... Hey!
有人把它打碎了
Somebody broke that.
好吧，好吧。很明顯，我們需要建立些規則了
Okay, okay. Clearly, we need to set some rules.
第一條
Rule number one.
你們不能碰任何東西
You will not touch anything.
那麼地板呢?
What about the floor?
是的，你們可以接觸地板
Yes, you may touch the floor.
那麼空氣呢?
What about the air?
是的，你們可以接觸空氣
Yes, you may touch the air!
那這個呢
What about this?
你在哪找到它的? 就看見了
Where did you get that? Found it.
好吧。第二條 ，工作時不許打擾我
Okay. Rule number two. You will not bother me while I'm working.
第三條
Rule number three.
你們不許哭 不許 不許抱怨不許大笑不許咯咯笑
You will not cry or whine or laugh or giggle
打噴嚏打嗝放屁都不行!
or sneeze or burp or fart!
所以，不準，不準發出討人厭的聲音 好嗎?
So, no, no, no annoying sounds. All right?
這個聲音算討厭嗎
Does this count as annoying?
非常討厭
Very!
6個小時後見
I will see you in six hours.
好了 別擔心 一切都會好起來的
Okay, don't worry. Everything's going to be fine.
我們在這會非常高興的 對嗎 阿格蕾絲
We're gonna be really happy here. Right? Agnes?
提個問題 這些是什麼
Question. What are these?
一羣舞蹈機器人 跳舞吧
A dozen boogie robots! Boogie!
瞧好了 看我的
Look at this. Watch me!
餅乾機器人 我說的是餅乾機器人
Cookie robots. I said cookie robots.
你是老糊塗了吧
Why are you so old?
好吧 我來搞定
Okay. I'm on it.
有人嗎
Hello?
電視
TV!
那是啥
What is that?
快看! 太酷了
Look at that! That is cool!
快來
Come on!
我覺得他不是牙醫
I don't think he's a dentist.
我們研究這個有一陣時間了
We've been working on this for a while.
這是抗重力漿
It's a anti-gravity serum.
我本來想把那個關上的 他會有沒事的，我確定
I meant to close that. He'll be all right, I'm sure.
-藥效會消失嗎?-目前看來
-Do the effects wear off? -So far,
還不會，不，還不會消失
no. No, they don't.
這個，當然啦，是你新訂做的新武器
And here, of course, is the new weapon you ordered.
不 不
No, no.
我說的是飛鏢手槍 不是...好吧
I said "dart gun", not... Okay.
噢，對嘛，我還在想
Oh, yes. 'Cause I was wondering
什麼情況下我們會用這種槍?
under what circumstances would we use this?
不過，沒事的
But, anyway.
我真正想給你秀一下的是這個
What I really wanted to show you was this.
那些纔是真正的餅乾機器人!
Now those are cookie robots!
啦啦啦啦 我愛獨角獸
La, la, la, la I love unicorns
你們在這幹什麼? 我告訴過你們待在廚房裏的
What are you doing here? I told you to stay in the kitchen!
我們太無聊了，這是什麼地方?
We got bored. What is this place?
我能喝這個嗎?
Can I drink this?
你想被爆炸嗎?
Do you want to explode?
格魯!
Gru!
回廚房裏去
Get back in the kitchen!
你能和我們一起玩玩嗎 不
Will you play with us? No.
爲什麼呢? 因爲我在忙
Why? Because I'm busy.
忙什麼
Doing what?
好吧 好吧 你贏了
Okay, okay, you got me.
牙醫是愛好
The dentist thing is more of a hobby.
現實生活中，我是個間諜
In real life, I am a spy.
這可是高級機密 你不能告訴任何人
And it is top secret, and you may not tell anybody,
因爲如果你告... 這是做什麼的
because if you do... What does this do?
嘿!
Hey!
我的獨角獸
My unicorn!
你得修好它
You have to fix it.
修好?聽着，它已經被粉碎了。也就是說，它修不好了
Fix it? Look, it has been disintegrated. By definition, it cannot be fixed.
真嚇人，她在幹什麼?
That's freaking me out. What is she doing?
你要是不給她個新的，她就會一直憋下去
She's gonna hold her breath until she gets a new one.
那就是個玩具。停下來!
It is just a toy. Now stop it!
好吧，好吧! 我會修好它的!
Okay, okay! I'll fix it!
蒂姆 馬克 菲爾!
Tim! Mark! Phil!
這件事非常重要
This is very important.
你們得給這個小丫頭弄到一個新的獨角獸玩具
You have to get the little girl a new unicorn toy.
嘿嘿嘿! 一個玩具!
Hey, hey, hey! A toy!
去吧，快點!
Go, and hurry!
它們是誰?
What are those?
他們是我的堂兄弟
They are my cousins.
傑瑞 斯圖爾特!
Jerry! Stuart!
看好她們讓她們離我遠點 拜託了
Watch them, and keep them away from me, please.
(歡迎試坐)
TRY ME
是你堂兄弟出的點子
It was your cousin's idea.
什麼?
What?
好吧 該睡覺了
Okay, bedtime.
不是你們倆
Not you two!
好了晚安 都回被窩去 做個美夢
Okey-dokey. Beddie-bye. All tucked in. Sweet dreams.
你知道
Just so you know,
你永遠不會成爲我的爸爸
you're never gonna be my dad.
我想我能受得了
I think I can live with that.
這些牀是用炸彈做成的嗎
Are these beds made out of bombs?
是的，不過它們已經老到幾乎無法爆炸了
Yes, but they are very old and highly unlikely to blow up.
但是別在牀上來回翻身
But try not to toss and turn.
酷斃了
Cool.
你能給我們念睡前故事嗎 不
Will you read us a bedtime story? No.
但是我們不聽故事就睡不着覺呢
But we can't go to sleep without a bedtime story.
嗯，那對你來說這將是一個漫長的夜晚，不是嗎
Well, then it's going to be a long night for you, isn't it?
好了，晚安，睡個好覺，別被臭蟲咬醒了
So, good night, sleep tight, and don't let the bed bugs bite.
因爲這有成千上萬的臭蟲
Because there are literally thousands of them.
而且你們的壁櫥裏也許還藏着什麼哦
And there's probably something in your closet.
他開玩笑的，阿格蕾絲
He's just kidding, Agnes.
好漂亮哦
It's beautiful.
女孩們，我們走
Girls, let's go.
送餅乾的時間到了!
Time to deliver the cookies!
好的，不過首先，我們要去上舞蹈課
Okay. But first, we're going to dance class.
事實上，我們今天要翹掉舞蹈課了
Actually, we're going to have to skip the dance class today.
事實上，我們今天不能逃舞蹈課
Actually, we can't skip the dance class today.
馬上有個表演
We have a big recital coming up.
我們要跳一段天鵝湖 -是哦，天鵝湖!
We're doing an excerpt from Swan Lake. Yeah, Swan Lake!
那真是好極了，太棒了
That's fantastic. Wonderful.
但是我們還是要去送餅乾! 來吧!
But we're going to deliver cookies! Come on!
不
No.
不?
No?
你不讓我們上舞蹈課，我們就不會去送餅乾
We're not going to deliver cookies until we do dance class.
真的?
Really?
好吧，我是不會送你們去上舞蹈課的
Well, I am not driving you to dance class.
所以你們要是想去的話 就得自己走着去
So if you want to go, you are going to have to walk yourselves.
你在做什麼
What are you doing?
走路去舞蹈班
Walking to dance class.
是嗎 好吧，很好
Ya? Okay, fine.
你們接着走 因爲我真的不會開車送你們去的
You just keep walking, because I'm really not driving you!
很好
Okay.
你們會受到格魯式憤怒的折磨的
You're going to suffer the wrath of Gru!
說真的 我數到3
Seriously, I'm going to count to three!
你們最好都給我到車上去
And you had better be in this car!
我開始數了1!2!
Here we go! One! Two!
3 4 5 ...
three, four and five.
擡腿，繃腳尖
And lift, and stretch.
1 2
And one, and two...
給你這個 這是什麼
Here you go. What is it?
去舞蹈表演的門票 你會來的，對嗎
Your ticket to the dance recital. You are coming, right?
當然 當然
Of course, of course.
我在這真是如坐鍼氈
I have pins and needles that I'm sitting on.
拉鉤鉤?
Pinkie promise?
噢，是的，我拉鉤保證
Oh, yes. My pinkie promises.
好的 我們的第一個顧客叫威克託
All right. Our first customer is a man named Vector.
但他是V開頭的
But he's a V.
你知道的，我們應該從A開頭的顧客開始
You know, we're supposed to start with the A's.
接着我們去B開頭的顧客 接着我們...
Then we go to the B's. Then we...
是的是的 我上過幼兒園 我知道字母表是怎麼回事
Yes, yes! I went to kindergarten. I know how the alphabet works!
我只是在想
I was just thinking
或許先給威克託先生送餅乾也不賴
that it might be nice to deliver Mr. Vector's first.
就是這樣
That is all.
快結束了 這快結束了
Almost over. It's almost over.
女孩們，歡迎回到威克託的城堡
Girls, welcome back to the fortress of Vector-tude!
你們有我要的餅乾嗎
Do you have my cookies for me?
4箱迷你薄荷糖 2箱奶糖
Four boxes of mini-mints, two toffee totes,
2箱焦糖和15箱椰子糖
two caramel clumpies and fifteen boxes of coco-nutties.
非常準確，我想知道還有誰定這麼多的餅乾
Exactly. I'd like to see somebody else order that many cookies.
不可能的
Not likely.
說一個比我訂餅乾還多的人的名字
Name one person who ordered more cookies than me.
總共是52美元
That'll be $52.
正確
Right.
(發現目標
TARGET ACQUIRED
7 8 9
Seven, eight, nine...
嘀嗒! 我數到哪了!
Tic Tacs! Where was I?
7 8 9
Seven, eight, nine...
爲什麼你穿睡衣呢
Why are you wearing pajamas?
這不是睡衣 !這是套保暖服
These aren't pajamas! This is a warm-up suit.
你要給什麼保暖? -東西
What are you warming up for? Stuff.
什麼樣的東西
What sort of stuff?
超級酷的東西 你們不會懂的
Super-cool stuff you wouldn't understand.
就像睡覺一樣嗎
Like sleeping?
它們不是睡衣!
They are not pajamas!
給你的， 52塊大鈔
Here you go, 52 big ones.
再見
Bye!
使勁
Come on!
